The Joys and The Lies of Motherhood

For the longest time I couldn't blog because I thought it had to be like a journal entry; and I couldn't journal because I thought it had to sound like a blog post.

This is not a journal entry.

Dear Blog,

Today I am entirely too sentimental. The oldest is turning 10 and Daddy just discovered the youngest has her first tooth. (You cannot see the tooth in the picture ;)

I was at the store picking out a card for my birthday boy. In like 30 seconds, all the feelings of anxiety about this birthday party and wanting it to be perfect, the thoughts of "what if I don't get the right card" or "this is my last chance to make TEN memorable," the swells of inadequacy and guilt about every thing that I can't do for him came rushing over me. (again, this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a journal entry!)

Then the Holy Spirit rode in on that wave and reminded me in a way that literally took all those thoughts captive: "Micah, it doesn't have to be. Why in the world would it?" I mean it seems so cruel to say this, but sometimes the lie of motherhood is sentiment, or perfection, or adoration. It's whatever we take joy in but make ULTIMATE.

So, here's hoping I can enjoy the sentiment of the next few days, months and years without letting it drive me crazy!